THE UNKNOWN

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Wednesday, June 3rd, 2026
10:28am
Florida, USA
78°F Mostly Cloudy

Today is my second day working on my page. I am new to neocities. I am, however, in my mid 30s and I can recall a time where building your webpage required basic code. I'm also getting the hang of VS code again as well. It's changed since I last used it. There was no Ai.

I have sank alot of time into this so far and I'm beginning to feel guilty. I don't think this will land me a job anytime soon and my to do list is only growing larger. I am being judged by the individuals around me. There was a time where I had a career. I absolutely hated it. The longer I stayed, the more I began hating myself too. But more on that later.

Thursday, June 4th, 2026
2:45pm
Gainesville, Florida
86°F Cloudy

Third day working on this. I tried for a long time learning about resizing images. I got more annoyed than educated. I half-assed a coding boot camp a few years ago and learned some of this but forgot how time consuming it could be. I do enjoy it. I'm just not generating any money, therefore, it has no value in the eyes of those watching.

I woke up this morning with the statement on my mind "I'm not feeling like myself today." Thats not entirely true as I thought more about it. I've used alot of my time lately to understand who I actually am. I've lived what seems like many lives in 35 years. None of them were my own. More like living lives out of obligation. Survival. Doing what I was told. What I'm feeling is a sense of frustration. I am trying to understand this world that we've been placed in. The deeper I get, the more I realize how little we know. I do acknowledge that there are some truly rearkable people out there who are doing an incredible job trying to follow and uncover that thread. I am grateful for those individuals.